Friday, January 9, 2009

Seriously folks, there are a bajillion templates out there. It was something that disappointed me about Blogger, their dearth of creative and enticing templates, but then I remembered this thing called "Google" where you can find just about anything! If you're interested, www.btemplates.com has the best selection -they're free and they work, which is all I ask. I didn't even get through all of them, but was impressed at how many were dedicated to things like the beach, the holidays, the chocolate candies, the unflappable depression of all of life, and World of Warcraft. They all have impressive names, too, like "Darkness Inside" and "Chaotic Soul" and "True Contemplation". Tempting, every single one of them. I could have a different template for every mood on every day of the year. (Also tempting! But don't worry, I won't. I'll settle on one this weekend.)

Memo to Apple Inc.: You're doing it wrong. Apple disappoints! Just to remind, my screen went kaput when we had a power surge and the code of the flashing diode has been interpreted to mean "bad power brick". This is one of those infernal proprietary things, which I can only get through Apple, of course. (Fry's didn't sell it.) So I took the thing down to the Mac Store and there weren't any replacement power bricks hanging on the shelf, as expected. Someone asked me if I needed help. Yes, I said, I need a new power brick for my monitor. Employee made a face like she was passing a lemon through a bruised sphincter. Then she said, We don't sell those. You'll have to see a Genius. Do you have an appointment? No, I said, I didn't think I needed a genius. I just need a new power adaptor. Can I order one? Employee passed another lemon, this time sideways. That's something the Geniuses will do for you. Our first available appointment is Sunday. How does that sound?

Well, it sounds like Apple store management is run by Morons. Seriously, Apple, I can go to any store in the world, say, Autozone, and order any part to any car made in any country in the last thirty years right there at the counter, but go to Apple and you have to make an appointment with someone four days out to place an order for a simple item, which is probably just sitting on the shelf in the back room. She suggested that I try the Internet, which is like saying replacement parts for the space shuttle are on the space station. I mean, how am I gonna get there? (Okay, so I didn't mention that I had another computer.) Then she suggested that I try calling Apple Support, but I don't have Apple Support, it's too expensive, so she said try calling them anyway. Wonderful! Bummer! Wonderful!

It reminds me of something Dennis Prager said. He came on the show one morning, all worked up in a lather, and ranted, "New York City is not the greatest city in the world! I'm sorry! I don't care what everyone says! A city in which no cab will drive you to the airport is not a great city! And neither is Los Angeles! No trains go to the airport! The nearest train station to the airport is fifty miles away!" Well, he's right. And a computer store run by self-proclaimed "geniuses" where you cannot purchase or order a simple product made by the same company without having to jump over flaming razor blades and then waiting weeks on end -without a computer- is not a great computer store.

I called Apple Support, by the way. They were not supportive. The nice man said that it was a $78 part (!) but since the screen was outside of the warranty (by 2 months) he was going to have to charge me an additional $49 to place the order. They suggested that I take it into an Apple Store. Not happy in the Land of WTF. Today's Apple Support: as useful as damp toilet paper, as fun as cleaning the catbox. Not like yesterday's Apple Support, which was all smiles and thank-you's and cheery dreams of coming technologies.

Anyway, the weekend is in sight, and if I can just make it through this day, I'll be all right. I'm late for work, but I admit it, I'm stalling. I don't want to go. It's cold out there. My illness has moved to my chest. Everything is gray. Mrs Ditchman put it perfectly, "Okay, we had Christmas. I am now ready for summer." True that. Life in Southern California. We're spoiled here. A few gray days and we're left without hope, all the horrors of life made manifest.

Still, it's Friday!