Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Dennis Prager defended the Jews again today! He invited people to call in and explain to him why the Jews were so hated in the world and throughout history. Among one of the more common reasons was "They've cornered the diamond market!" to which Dennis replied something like, "Let's discard, for the moment, that De Beers is a Belgian company and that South Africa has a huge corner on the diamond market as well... So the Jews have cornered the diamond market. So what?" which sent the caller into a frenzy: "But every diamond out there was cut by a Jew!" It was an astonishing revelation. Dennis giggled. "The Jews are a tiny group of people, compared to so many other countries and peoples. Why is everyone so obsessed with them?" Dennis is right. The Chinese have the market cornered on the cheap, useless, lead-painted trinkets of the world and nobody hates them for it. Maybe they should.

Then there were the people who called in and claimed that the Jews were hated because they are so powerful. Dennis: "Powerful? So powerful they allowed ONE THIRD of their people to be slaughtered in the holocaust?"

Then someone called in and claimed that the Jews were hated for their Narcissism. Caller: "They're like Paris Hilton! She's so obsessed with herself that everyone becomes obsessed with her!" Dennis: "I don't follow." Caller: "Because they claim to be 'chosen by God', Dennis, they're always calling themselves the Chosen People!" Dennis: "Well, they are the chosen people. That's what the Bible says." Caller: "See! Unbelievable narcissism!" To which Dennis coolly replied, "The Japanese claim to get the sun first in the morning and no one hates them for it. It's tradition. The fact that the Bible says the Jews were chosen only means they were chosen for a task. They weren't chosen for their greatness. As a matter of fact the Bible goes to great lengths explaining what miserable failures they were. More so than any other people in the Bible!"

To which the caller hung up, and we were all the better for it.

Speaking of Jew-haters, the president of Iran says that there are no homosexuals in Iran. Huh. Imagine that. It may be true. I don't know -I'm not gay and I've never been to Iran. But it may be true because they've all been executed, according to this news report. There's a bright side, however, gays are given a choice of four methods of execution: hanging, stoning, halving by sword, or being dropped from the highest perch.

Halving by sword?

Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's amazing to me that if you met someone on the street who said these things, you'd discard the guy as a kook. But if you're Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and you say it at Columbia University, well... oh I don't know. He's the duly elected president of Iran, right? You figure it out. Also, the Nazi slaughter of six million Jews, the most documented event in world history, should not be treated as fact, but as theory, and therefore open to debate and more research.

It's a crazy, mixed-up world we live in, but as long as we all get our aluminum patio covers, there'll be nothing to worry about.