Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Oh, this just strikes me as hilarious:

Whoever made that should be given a medal. He just nailed why I don't go the movies anymore. Yes, yes, I know there are still some good flicks out there and that this phenomena is nothing new in showbiz, but I just don't have the time and money to waste like I used to. I'm sure Button is a wonderful film, with its thirteen Academy Award nominations, but Forrest Gump was nominated thirteen times, too, and I wasn't a fan.

Heresy! Yes, I know. I think I was the only one who thought Gump was thoughtless and overwrought. I've seen it several times. The photography is terrific, the acting is wonderful, the music and effects are unforgettable, but I still have no idea what the movie was really about, or what, exactly, the main theme was. I mean, it's all over the place! Was it saying that we should just live life simply, and hope for good luck? I don't understand why everyone around him suffered, while the dumb guy with the dopey voice lived a life of serendipity. Was it just a fantasy? What was the moral of the story? Are we supposed to be more like Forrest Gump, a man who never judged, but also never endured the temptations that all of us do on a daily basis? It was a nice, soulless story, vaguely anti-American. (And it didn't help that all the characters with conservative, traditional values were portrayed as stupid, and the liberal, counter-culture types as victims.) But what do I know? It won Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Writer, and Best everything else, making millions along the way. Some day someone will enlighten this obstinate pagan, and I will be forever grateful, but for now I whine and complain from the comfort of the suburbs, with my own failed Hollywood career behind me.

So Eric Roth was nominated again for his Benjamin Button screenplay -and all the power to him! He's not stupid -he sticks with what works! He's an established, accomplished, and successful writer. I thought The Insider was excellent, and I forgive him for the epic drivel that was The Postman (only redeemed by Tom Petty's cameo), but seriously now, did you watch that video above? Did it exaggerate? I find self-plagiarism to be a sad lack of integrity -one I admit I'm guilty of from time to time- but that's the art that Hollywood has perfected, and the filmmakers cry all the way to the bank. Maybe some day audiences will catch on to the old tried-and-true Hollywood formulas, but I fear that they already have and just don't care. I think this is what becomes of a society that doesn't teach Shakespeare in high school classrooms anymore: the endless pursuit of the quick buck via benign, bland, tasteless, repetitive mediocrity, stereophonic and in technicolor. All spectacle and no substance. But it's the feel-good flick of the year! Feel good for only ten dollars? What's wrong with that? When's the sequel?!

Oh, I'm just in a bad mood this morning. I've got to go to the dump and then I've got to go build an aluminum patio cover that's eleven-and-a-half feet high and then I've got to go repair some leaky cover that was poorly built (by me.) I'm sure Benjamin Button is a great film. Perhaps today it would be ten dollars well-spent. Oh, I'll catch it one of these days. It's probably even better than Forrest Gump. It looks to be an awesome spectacle!

(Thanks to Sean over at VFTW for pointing out the funny vid!)