Some city in Minnesota today has a predicted high of minus 7. Yesterday in Oceanside the high was 88. I can't imagine waking up this morning someplace where it's 94 degrees colder. 94 degrees! Mrs. Ditchman asked what it was those people did all winter, a perfectly valid question. I imagine they all have Internet jobs in warm basements, but it's possible they can't bear the thought of working outside in the heat, building aluminum patio covers. Then again, now that I think about it, maybe nobody lives in these places at all, and their high and low temps are reported on the news for lack of any other interesting info. Seriously, what's going on in the world today? Nothing. Senate confirmation hearings? I'd rather read weather reports from around the world. (Honey! It's drizzling in Bilbao!)

Speaking of torturous Senate confirmation hearings, Jack Bauer is back! I missed the "hearing" part, though, as I had completely forgotten that 24 had even started up again, and just stumbled upon the season premiere while channel surfing the other night. And then, last night during the 2nd part of the premiere, which was really the third and fourth episode in the second straight night (networks and their deranged broadcasting logic), I dozed off and awoke to find Jack torturing his old buddy, Tony Almeida. Quick look at the clock and I had only been asleep for ten minutes! This show moves pretty fast. You gotta stay ever-alert, lest the plot thicken, harden, shatter and coagulate into something else entirely, all while you're in the bathroom. ("There's not enough time!") Seriously though, five minutes later, post-torture, Jack and Tony were buddies again, risking life and limb for one another.

Mrs. Ditchman and I have a romantic connection with 24, as it's been around since before we were married. There's a subtle bonding thing we have associated with it, taking us back to those carefree days of woo and courting. She went into labor with the Little Ditchman during an episode of 24, as a matter of fact, so, yes, the show can get that intense.

How is 24 this season? Not too shabby, I guess, assuming I didn't miss something unresolvably awful. No suburbs have been nuked yet, but there are planes in the sky, filled with hapless American passengers, that are being controlled by some bad guys with geeked-out laptops. It has something vaguely to do with saving the children in Africa, but thankfully, that plot point has been ditched. And torture! Plenty of torture! Everybody's doing it now and it seems to be working! I mean, seriously, Janine Garofalo's performance has me with my hand on the remote. Get her on one of those planes!

24, Mondays on Fox at 9:00PM (8PM Central).


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